This is one blog I have not looked forward to writing. It is September 10th – the first anniversary of the day one of my best friends, Debbie Simon, took her own life. It is still so unbelievable to me. It was a tremendous loss to her family, the many friends (there were over 1,000 at her funeral), and others whose lives she had touched.
What to say? Well, frankly I don’t know.
I could tell you what a wonderful person Debbie was –beautiful inside and out. I could tell you that she was a model for “living life to the full.” I could tell you how she relentlessly stayed at her son Scottie’s side during the months he was in a coma, what an amazing job she did raising her talented daughter Lauren and exceptional son David. I could tell you about the wonderful times we had together or I could share some of the incredible tragedies that led her into a deep depression, ultimately causing her to end her life in a horrific way.
Instead I have decided to share a positive that has stemmed from this heartbreak. About six months ago, her daughter, Lauren, phoned me. She said that while attending support group sessions for those whose lives have been inflicted by suicide, she felt there was a need for something more. Lauren wanted to gather with other fellow survivors in a supportive retreat setting. Was there a spa somewhere that dealt with this topic? And if not, could I recommend a place that might work with her to put together such a retreat that would honor her mother while at the same time help others?
I immediately thought of Miraval. Michael Tompkins, the GM at this award winning spa, was very responsive and together they created what will become the first annual Touched by an Angel, Sisterhood of Survivors Spa Retreat (open to both men and women).
The first retreat will take place Thursday, Feb 3 – Sunday, Feb 6, 2011. Judy Collins, a Grammy Award winning actress and author whose son committed suicide, will be one of the attendees and speakers. There will be grief experts. I will be there.
I cannot predict how I will feel during the retreat or what will come of it. I do know that getting together with others who have gone through similar experiences is a healthy thing to do. And I know that a destination spa setting is the most healing environment to facilitate such a gathering. So I trust it will be a positive in my life.
Today my heart aches. I really miss Debbie.
My twitter address: @susieellis
This is such a beautiful idea and Miraval is the perfect setting. Congratulations.
I too lost my best friend. Not from suicide but from a long, painful, illness. May I suggest what I do. Gather all her “best friends” and honor her for an evening or a retreat every year of her date of departure. That in itself brings her alive and adds to the joy of knowing her. It’s nine years now, and I look forward to “being with her” every year.
Thanks for your blog. It really helps. Also, I’m so sorry for your sorrow.
What a bittersweet blog, but kudos to Susie and Lauren for taking personal grief and transforming it into something that can benefit others. And thanks to Michael Tompkins of Miraval for recognizing the opportunity to increase the wellness of those touched by suicide. I’m sure it will be a truly inspiring event… well done!
This is such a wonderful example of how spas can help people through life changing events. Thanks for sharing and I hope the experience at Miraval delivers relief for your loss.
Miraval does sound like the ideal place for healing for this kind of issue with a nurturing support group.
What a wonderful blog post! Many people turn to spas for nurturing and Miraval is beautiful place to do that! Thanks again for posting.. many blessings!
As I read the blog and the subject revealed itself to me my heart skipped a beat and I got that sick feeling inside again. It’s been two years since my best friend took her life and still it seems unreal. I think the gathering of like minded souls who have all experienced such tremendous loss is a positive step and Miraval the perfect location.
I share your sorrow for your friend but also take comfort that I am not alone in my grief.
Hi Susie,
So sorry about your good friend! It must have been devastating to go through something like that.
Just wanted to let you know that I have been reading your blog and have enjoyed keeping up with you even though it’s been more than 10 years since we have seen each other. You will be missed next month at Medici’s but I am sure that you have to make the ultimate sacrifice and go to Bali. I haven’t seen a response from Katrine. Will she make it to Normal?
You now have my email address. Drop me a note sometime!
All the best,
Deb Hufford-Behan
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